Sour Swinger Predominantly follows my Army & Iraq Deployment. Also has some Geek, School, and other talk.

Tis a sad day for me.  I’ll be loosing Steev quotes for my blog.  His quotes have been some of my most popular visited pages.  Its also what brings regular traffic.  Everyday, I get at least one visitor searching for “Quotes on Assholes”.  But I’m also happy for Steev that he takes this blogging plunge.  He’ll be able to better dedicate a single source full of his random thoughts.  I wish him luck and hopefully becomes a permanent blogger.

Steev’s Blog

“See, as a guy interested in getting a girlfriend, I am looking for a girl who I am friends with and also attracted to. I want someone who I enjoy spending time with, and also want to…spend time with at night.

But girls like to separate those two aspects of their relationship with the opposite sex. They want a guy that they sleep with but hate, and they want to have a guy who they’re not attracted to at all to be their best friend so that they can complain about the first guy to him.

This is the ‘friend zone’ that most people talk about. It’s also related to the idea of a first impression being critical: within about an hour of meeting a girl, and sometimes even sooner, you’ve been placed in one of three categories:

1) Friend
2) Fuck
3) Forget

Once you’re placed in a category, it’s extremely hard to move out of it and into another. If you’re in the ‘friend’ category, a girl won’t even consider sleeping with you…you’re like another girl. If you’re in the fuck category, a girl won’t bother sharing anything with you, she’s got friends for that. If you’re someone she doesn’t care for at all, you’re forgotten and discarded.

Women finally succeed at having long term relationships when they realize that one and two should be combined in the same person, and when they find a person like that, it works out well.

I would say that guys do this too, but if a guy talks to a girl, he’d probably sleep with her. There are very few girls who get kept around who he wouldn’t, and they fulfill some other sort of need. But generally, from the guy’s side, they’re always open for a move forward.”

~~~Steev

“You know what I hate about Java? The primitive type for an integer is ‘int,’ while for a boolean it’s ‘boolean.’ Who needs consistency? I’ll just keep typing ‘integer’ and ‘bool’ and getting compile errors. Fuck Java.”

~~~Steev

“What you have to realize is that being an asshole will make girls happy… see, we’re conditioned from a young age to think that the more you pay for something, the better it is. Most of the time, this is true, but when it comes to relationships, a [nice] guy you can get easily is free, hence, worthless. If you have to earn the [asshole] guy, then you feel like he’s worth more. It’s fucked, but that’s how people think. So by treating a girl terribly and then letting her get you, you’re increasing your worth in her eyes.”

~~~Steev

“This one time, my mom tells me not to worry about girls. ‘Someday, the girls will settle down and realize that you’re what they want.’

So I say to her, ‘Thanks mom. The realization that I just have to wait out the loneliness for a few years, and then I can settle down with some ex-slut who got sick of sleeping with the guys she’s actually attracted to. So she’ll use me for the security that she wants and pretend to love me. Thanks, that makes me feel much better.’”

~~~Steev

“I/O in functional programming is hard to achieve because the concept of purity. While functional programming would like to enforce purity, I/O is fundamentally impure. The way that Haskell enforces purity while still doing I/O is through monads. I don’t understand how monads work, but the way that I understand it is that it’s like getting a blow job from a Catholic school girl. You’re doing something that’s inherently impure, but you still manage to convince yourself it’s pure anyway.”

~~Steev